YOUR FAVORITE GUM Let's have some of your favorite gum (3x) Let's have it; let's grab it! And let's chew it! I said chew it. Don't swallow it! Just follow the leader and chew it! Your Favorite gum, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah, yeah!

ONE-WOMAN CRIME SPREE You gestured - as if you had a gun but in retrospect, I didn't see none You had something pointing from under your shirt You said, "Just hold still - it won't even hurt". You stole my heart, and now you've ripped it apart With everything you're doing to me - You're on a one-woman crime spree! (4x) I couldn't - have run away if I dared I think I was - too much in shock to be scared I wasn't able to run very far I didn't see you get into a car and I don't know how you got away!

WELL, YEAH Well I don't know what she done to me But now I know I'm who I wanna be Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Well Yeah - Hell Yeah Well Yeah - Hell Yeah Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Well Alright! Well somebody says, "Paul, how the hell are ya?" and I say, "Well, I'm pretty damn good" I feel a little better now I know why but I don't know how

PRETTY GIRLS DON'T PERSPIRE I saw a pretty girl walking down the street I saw a pretty girl, the kind I'd like to meet Well I thought that she was wet but it was just a moist towelette and pretty girls don't perspire GO! I saw a pretty girl walking down the road I saw a pretty girl I'd like to say I knowed Well I thought that she was oozing but it was just her sponge suffusing and pretty girls don't perspire uh-uh-uh-uh-uh well a-no-no-no no they don't perspire HIT ME!

HAVE A GOOD FUNERAL, MY FRIEND Quick on the Trigger, fast on the draw This old dusty town ain't big enough for them all Only one of them is gonna walk away today You don't have to worry, cuz he's gonna pay Not with his life but for your burial day Only one of them is gonna walk away today Have a good funeral, my friend Death is one thing on which you can depend One day it will be over, but until then Have a good funeral my friend 3 men after the bounty on a wanted man's hide Too bad that's not something that they can divide Only one of them is gonna live to tell the tale So draw out your pistol and take your last breath He's the one they call the angel of death Only one of them is gonna live to tell the tale This is a land with no one to trust He does what he has to, he does what he must All for a few dollars more He's drowned in the rain, he's baked in the sun He's taken on an army with a gatlin gun All for a few dollars more

SPADER'S BIKE IS TWISTED Meet Morgan Hiller, He's always been a rebel This is where reputations are earned Now he's about to become a hero This is where reputations are earned Spader's Bike is Twisted On Tuff Turf he's existed everyday Spader's Bike is Twisted And now he's insisted that you pay Respect is earned, just like reputations get the hell out of his way There are some that will never respect you get the hell out of his way Spader's bike is Twisted on Tuff Turf he's existed everyday Spader's bike is Twisted and now he's two-fisted all the way Stand up for what is right Believe in for what you fight And nothing's gonna stop you now...

MAN OBSESSED [writ: Daniel Johnston] He's a man obsessed he couldn't be a lover so now he's a pest He played the game, but he failed the test He's a man obsessed, he's a pest The only way you could get her to look at you is to die - why don't you die (2x)

I WASTED MY MASTERBALL ON FREAKIN' GOLDEEN This one's for all of the peeps - The Puerto Rics, the Arab Sheiks, the Meditereanan Greeks and the Indian Chiefs - But most of all, the Pokemon freaks! (girl talking about freaks) When I first caught Pikachu I said, "Hey let me take a peek at you" I had another problem solved Whenever my magikarp evolved Everyone had to eat, drink and be merry The time when I finally caught Clefairy I felt just like Vinnie Barbarino When I got ahold on Nindorino The Pokemaniac called me a queen! When I... Wasted my masterball on freakin' Goldeen! I still remember listening to Zamfir when I finally got my hands on Pincir I was totally scoffing and sneezing When I saw I had Koffing and Wheezing The next time that I turned on the TV Right away I got a grab on Eevee It was much like finding a pearl in an oyster Right in the game I saw I had Cloyster But I can't believe what I just seen! I wasted my masterball on freakin' Goldeen! I gotta catch em all, from first to lastly and now I'm after that dream-eater Ghastly What's good for the goose is good for the gander So what's good for Charmeleon is good for Charmander Squirtle, Wartortle and Jigglypuff Doduo, Dodrio and Wigglytuff Omanyte, Dragonyte, Caterpie Mewtwo, Sandshrew and Hitmonlee Slowbro, Spearow and Porygon Machop, Machoke and Rhydon Abra, Kadabra, Alakazam Magmar, Omastar and Hitmonchan! I wrote this song using a magazine! I wasted my Masterball on freakin' Goldeen! Now, all I have to do is teach Eggsecutor Megabrain, and then everything will be good!

MEET JOHN DOE [lyrics: Sheila Petroskey] Meet John Doe, that's all I know Do you know where I read this? It was on a tape! Oh whippy ding do! Aaaaaaaaaaaooooooo! I wish John Doe would get into shape, shape, shape I don't even know anything about John Doe But I want him to get into shape anyway Why would someone have the last name Doe? I don't know! Are they gonna make pizza out of him? AaaaaaaaaaaaoooooOOOOOO! Meet John Doe cuz I don't wanna meet (4x) Meet John Doe!

AM I ONLY SLEEPING? The sink's full of dishes My head's full of beans The tank's full of fishes that cannot be seen The peace corps is flying Over my bed Am I only Sleeping? Am I only Dead? Some of this is real and some of this is only what I feel The ceiling's malicious the prognosis is poor I'm feeling suspicious Of the walls and the floor My helpful helper is holding my head Am I only Sleeping? Am I only dead?

THESE BROWNIES SUCK! These Brownies Suck! (3x) and I really don't care if you don't like me anymore I never had brownies that tasted so much like shit I never had brownies that looked so much like it And if I can't say something nice I'll just tell it like it is I never saw brownies that made me gag at first sight No I never had brownies that I spit out on first bite